by Patrick Moran
I have listened to four presentations for the coach trip between airport and hotel. Let’s talk about communication first. You can’t sell me anything if we can’t communicate! I cannot communicate in your language at all so you start in a superior position. Whatever your quality of my language may be. Our communication depends purely on your ability. There is one question and one question only. Do we understand one another? Do I understand what you say and do you understand what I say? To be fair I should keep it slow and simple but not all tourists are reliable about that!
I interrupted once or twice to correct pronunciation. There is a tendency among Vietnamese not to pronounce consonants at the end of words. My ten year old Vietnamese stepdaughter could say one word. “Goodnigh.” My first lesson was “Goodnigh T” which became a standard expression. 16 years later she speaks wonderful English. Why? She has spoken English to me every day. That’s the way she learned Vietnamese. I sometimes say : “No, we would say it this way.” If she asks why, I say I don’t know. Ask your Vietnamese teacher about the grammar! My usual example is my young grandson saying he rided his bike. You mean “rode”. I didn’t mention the grammar. Neither did your Vietnamese parents when you were starting the language. There is a message in this story. Practice, practice, practice. I am amazed that you are allowed to speak Vietnamese on these premises. It is supposed to be a school for English speaking tour guides! How many conversation classes do you have? I will hold some at my house on Sundays. Any subject. Football, the weather, but they are English subjects! You will not be allowed to use one word of Vietnamese to one another after entering the gate until you leave.
Hopefully there are similar schools for Chinese and Japanese speaking tour guides. The very successful tour industries in southern Europe are based on very frequent returns by people from cold northern Europe. Our most frequent potential returns will be from people in cold northern Asia.
In a way our problem is worse. I took my Vietnamese wife on a London Thames tourist boat when most of the other customers seemed to be Japanese. A London cockney tour guide. Their dialect does not pronounce “h” at the beginning of a word or “t” in the middle of a word. An ospi al with an i bio ics. (A hospital with antibiotics!) I don’t think the Japanese understood much of what he said! They didn’t understand cockney humour either. A hospital with a ten month waitng list for pregnancy tests. I was the only one who laughed!
Communicating with people starts with a name. You could adopt a name for yourselves with simple international spelling. Tan, Den etc for your first item – introduction. My name? In my culture Mr.Moran. In your culture Mr.Patrick. Spending a week together informally I would suggest “Pat.” You need to remember as many names as possible as the days go by.
Now we can start on principle number one. “Find out what the customers want.” How? There is only one way. Ask! Any presentation which fails to start or finish by inviting questions is no good. You all started with a presentation about Vietnamese history or culture. Different nationalities and age groups want different things. That is why another principle is to introduce maximum choice. However, I can tell you that this is the opposite of what anyone wants! Another principle is what we call “put yourslf in their shoes.” Imagine yourself in their situation. Say two hours from your front door to the international airport. Two hours demanded for international check-in. How long a flight before an hour for refuelling and shopping at Dubai airport? How long for the flight to Singapore, an hour for the connecting flight, then the flight to Saigon and processing to get on your coach? You would have the same question as all of them. “Some international airports are two hours from the hotel by coach. How long is this one?” You might as well demonstrate that you know what you are doing by answering that question before they even ask. ” Ladies and gentlemen, dependent on the traffic we will be at the hotel in about 30 minutes where we have arranged a fast check-in to get you to your room for a siesta, or shower, or bath as quickly as possible.”
None of you did any of this! Culture, history? Reverse the situation. You have saved up to make the long journey to England for a week and I meet you with a coach at Heathrow. Fortunately that is a long way from central London hotels because we have a lot of history and cultural influences. The Romans, the Vikings, the French, but even during the last few hundred years we have had wars with every single country in Europe, we have had every single country in Europe as an ally in wars and our American colony fought us for their independence. We also built the biggest empire the world has ever seen. Just a minute. I am an amateur. If that is your interest you should read the books written by professionals. You didn’t need to come to England at all! The only point in coming to England is to actually see some of this heritage and actually see what England is like today.
I knew about this tour guide problem on my very first trip in Viet Nam on my first visit in 1994. I was absorbing the view from a clifftop coffee bar outside Nga Ttrang. A coach screeched to a stop in a cloud of dust and disgorged a tour guide with a party. He told them that a promontory looked like a giant stone fairy and embarked on a long legend about how her giant stone husband had left her there. They then re-embarked and departed in another cloud of dust. Obviously the worst tour guide in the world. Except that during the next half hour two more did exactly the same thing! We don’t travel all this way to have our intelligence insulted. It wasn’t much like a giant stone fairy and the legend was obviously all lies. “See Naples and die.” Flat straight stony cold beaches with no trees are boring. Ideally a view should have bays, islands, hills and trees. I like the bay of Naples. Especially seen from Positano or Capri. Is it better than Nga Trang Bay, Ha Long Bay, many other bays in Viet Nam or around the world? A silly question. They are all different and all second to none by containing all these elements.
Just a minute. Culture gap. Different nationalities and age groups want different things. Perhaps some people are oblivious of scenery and like legends. “The customer is always right.” Where possible always offer a choice. “Ladies and gentlemen, we are going to stop on a clifftop before we get to Nha Trang. Only for 20 minutes or so because we need to check-in but there will be time for a coffee. Alternatively, if you follow me a few metres down a path I will tell you the legend of the giant stone fairy.”
There may even be some people who would prefer your short amateur version of Vietnamese culture and history to reading the books. “Ladies and gentlemen I could give a talk about that tomorrow morning in room X at the hotel before we leave for our schedule. How many of you would like me to do that?”
Lecture 3 & 4. I will want to hear as many as possible giving this presentation on the coach from the airport on which I shall comment. I shall expect a much better plan than I heard today which is why I told you to take notes and will continue to help with pronunciation..
Lecture 5 & 6. We now need to prepare for some practical experience. Talking to real tourists. An obvious possibility is market research. That will give you practical experience and also some ideas about what they want. I have designed a veryshort questionnaire. Mr.Hoa and I never talk about things we haven’t done ourselves. We used this in some Saigontourist hotels with permission from the managers. In any case there are always uniquely local problems. Everybody was very friendly about answering. People are flattered to be asked what they think. However, Vietnamese packages always have an excessive schedule. Some of them were about to leave on an organised trip or had an arrangement to meet friends. Some said they had only just arrived and did not know much about VN yet. The ideal solution would be to take groups of you to the departure lounge at the airport where people have boring time to kill and have not just arrived. Mr.Hoa is convinced we will not get permission to do that so we will have to accept that problem.
Today Mr.Hoa and I will give you a demonstration and then take it in turns to act as the foreigner when you individually embark on market research in this lecture room. That will also be the itinery next week.
Lecture 7++. The real world! Take small groups to hotels. They can listen to me and Mr.Hoa first. We will then listen to them.
Lectures 6 & 7 never actually happened! Mr.Hoa had been allocated to a new function. I never heard from Saigontourist School for Tour Guides again!
Conclusion. Obviously thís should be printed but if so this is merely an initial draft which requries further thought. I already have additional items for the introduction!
Yours sincerely, Patrick Moran.